Chapter 34

The Dhaba, outside the city line

Aakash was having his dinner when he suddenly starts choking at the extra spiced chicken.

Payal looks up from her plate and runs to Aakash.

She grabs the glass of lassi and hands it to him and start patting and rubbing his back.

Aakash’s choking subsides, but his head gets foggy with the sweet vanilla smell coming from Payal.

He looks up to see Payal looking at him in concern.

Payal asks worriedly: Aakash, are you feeling okay?

Aakash decides to milk this for a little bit more: *Cough cough*…

Payal leans closer and rubs his back some more: Now?

Aakash smiles wide inside, but pretends to be sick.

Suddenly a most helpful (?) guy from the next table pulls away Payal and starts pounding Aakash’s back with his bear paw size fists.

Aakash’s eyes bulge out at the sudden assault.

But Dara Singh comes to his rescue. He stops the beefy guy and says: Sukriya paaji. Sirji yahan ki lassi piyenge to sab thik ho jayega. Aap wapas baitho ji.

(Thank you, Mister. Sirji will drink lassi from here and everything will be just fine. You please sit down again.)

Payal thanks the beefy guy too. Aakash just manages a wan smile at his direction mentally cursing his bad luck.

Dara asks Aakash: Aap thik ho sirji? (Are you okay, sirji?)

Aakash just wheezes out: Thank you, Dara.

Dara flashes his toothy smile and vanishes inside.

Payal sits on her side and asks worriedly: How are you feeling now Aakash?

Aakash smiles at her: I’m okay now. Let’s finish dinner.

Payal wrinkles her brow in worry but nods.

They finish their dinner and pay Dara Singh. Aakash leaves him a large tip and his huge toothy smile comes out: Sirji, apne lugai ko leke phir aaiyega…

(Sir, come again with your wife)…

Payal blushes and says: Hum log shaadi shuda nehin hain. (We are not married.)

Dara Singh’s toothy smile doesn’t dim: Arre toh kya hua madamji? Abhi shaadi nehin hui to ho jayegi. Is mein ki gal hain? Aap dono to made for each other ho ji.

(So what, madamji? You are not married now but you will get married eventually. It’s no big deal. You two are made for each other.)

Aakash smiles at Payal and shrugs his shoulder to indicate it does not bother him for Dara to think that they are a couple. Payal blushes and smiles back.

They leave the dhaba and get on their bike to go home and think about Dara’s words all the way to Delhi.

Devi Maiyya was swaying side by side and humming on her lotus. Suddenly she stops swaying: Hold on. I didn’t make Dara say all that. Who the heaven did that?

She looks around but Nandi was nowhere to be seen.

She shouts: Nandiiiiiiii… Nandiiii… Report to me right now.

Nandi comes running huffing and puffing: Yes, ma’m.

Devi Maiyya (sweetly sarcastic): Where were you Nandi?

Nandi (innocent face, big cow eyes blinking): Who me? Lunch break.

Devi Maiyya (narrowed eyes): Was that lunch break in a certain Midway Dhaba by any chance?

Nandi (mentally wincing): Ummm… Midway Dhaba? Where is that?

Devi Maiyya (smug): Nandi, you know that you never lie to your boss when you might get caught, right?

Nandi (sheepish): Yeah?

Devi Maiyya (smugger): And you know that you never lie to someone who happens to know everything like, umm… I don’t know… Me? As in God?

Nandi (wincing): Ummm… Yes…

Devi Maiyya (smuggest): But, I forgive you since you saved me the task of banging their heads together.

Nandi flashes his toothy smile.

Devi Maiyya (continues sternly): But… (index finger up deleting Nandi’s toothy smile)… Next time get my approval first because I’m the boss. Got it?

Nandi nods vigorously.

Devi Maiyya (all smiles again): Now get me a lassi from Midway dhaba. It looked quite delicious from up here.

Nandi runs to do her errand before her mood changes again.

ASR’s car, New Delhi:

Khushi mutters under her breathe: Why do you do this to me Devi Maiyya? Huh? Didn’t I offer you samosas the other day? Even when Buaji scolded me for offering them to you? Then why do you always drop Laad Governor on me? What did I do to deserve this?

ASR (irritated): Stop muttering. It’s irritating.

Khushi (sarcastic): Oh yeah? You know what else is irritating? Getting kidnapped. And sorry, I never promised to be an accommodating kidnap victim. So too freaking bad.

ASR (grits his teeth): Stop your melodrama. I am taking you home, not to some jungle to murder and bury you, no matter how tempting the idea is.

Khushi goes into technicolour imagination mode in graphic detail.

*Khushi’s Dream*

Khushi was running helplessly through a jungle wearing a pink salwar, no white salwar with extra long veil flying behind in typical Bollywood style.

ASR running behind him with huge sword and he maniacally screams: Khushi Kumari Gupta… Today is your last day on Earth. Prepare to eat your next jalebi with your Devi Maiyya…

Bells in temple start swinging maniacally.

Khushi stops for a moment and wrinkles her brow: Hold on. How can there be a temple in jungle?

ASR stops too and smirks: There is always a temple or mosque or church in horror movies in the middle of nowhere. Everyone knows it.

Khushi nods understandingly and starts running again: Nehinnnn… Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chod do…

(No, for God’s sake, let me go)

ASR runs behind her: Muhahaha… Kutte kaminey main tera khoon pee jaunga…

(Muhahaha… You ba**ard… I will drink your blood)

Khushi stops again and jumps gleefully: I know, I know… Dharamji right?

(Hint: Dharmendra – Legendary Bollywood actor known for his weird dance and melodramatic lines which is why… He is a legend in Bollywood.)

ASR nods in agreement. Then suddenly grabs Khushi.

Khushi squirms but ASR holds tight. He raises his sword with the moonlight glinting on the shiny blade and…

Khushi screams in reality: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo…

ASR slams on his break: What the?

Khushi opens her eyes to see that she is in the car with ASR and he was looking at her incredulously.

ASR asks again: What? Why did you shout?

Khushi pats her stomach to make sure there is no holes dripping blood and then stammers: No no… I mean. I thought I saw a panda coming under your car.

ASR (even more incredulous): What? You screamed because you saw a panda?

Khushi nods vigorously.

ASR growls: We live in India. There is no freaking Panda in India.

Khushi tries a smile: Yeah… I knew that. That’s why I said I THOUGHT I saw a Panda.  

ASR grits his teeth and mutters to himself: This girl is nuts and she will drive me nuts.

And he starts driving again eager to get her to her home and away from his well-ordered logical life.

Khushi lets go off the breath she was holding.

Devi Maiyya laughs so hard that her lassi goes flying in the air and back in her glass.

Nandi makes faces: ASR is right. She is crazy. Off all animals, she thought of Panda?

Devi Maiyya giggles some more: You can also think, off all the people on Earth, ASR only thinks about her?

Nandi (scratches his head): It’s a big mystery.

Devi Maiyya (smug): Because my dear Nandi, they are made for each other as well. (winks).